sitting, waiting, wishing

You say women lie? really? stop generalizing. tell me then, I'm a woman, in what have I lied? I did the total opposite of lying, I put myself out there for you, my feelings, I gave them all to you on a plate and still, it wasn't enough. it never is, anyway. people always want more than what they can really get. and so do you. you know what women want? they just want someone to want them back. at least the ones who don't think like boys. there, I generalized boys. Didn't like it, did you?
Have you ever heard about the quote "There are plenty fish in the sea."? well, I know there are plenty fish in the sea, but right now, you're the fish I want. I don't know about you, but I forget the world when I see you or talk to you. I literaly do. you could find a thousand questions, a thousand reasons to say "no", to reject. but I could give you a thousands reasons why you should say "yes", why you should try. because, like lucas said "But if you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, and you always find 'em, then I guess at some point maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves." and with that, he said it all. you're so focused in being unhappy, in your agony of the fact that the best part of you isn't yours anymore, that she was pulled away from you and left you there, broken. yeah, broken, what you call yourself. but I've already told you and I'll tell you again: you choose to be that way.
but whatever, who am I to say what you have to do or what you have to feel, right? yeah, because according to you, I don't know you. sure, that's easy to say when you don't want to face me, isn't it. coward. like, seriously, if that "You don't know me" speech was to shake me and hurt me, well, congratulations sir, you did that well. because just imagine that the girl you like tells you that? pretty awesome feeling, hun? yeah, not. and don't tell me that it's different. because, yeah, the situation is different. but in the end, it hurts all the same.
"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads; afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments will define us for the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested that you discover who you truly are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead." and honestly, you should try it. yeah, whatever, ignore everything I said that I feel, keep on thinking that "I don't know you' even though it would hurt like hell if you did that. but do it for you. let someone in, maybe not me, but someone who sees the great in you that I see everytime I look at you. I just hope that you find that person. and when you do, I just hope she appreciates having you the way I would appreciate it.

with Love, Jay.

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